Autobiography.

Well I just spent many hours writing my autobiography for a program I'm in, and since this blog is about me I thought it would fit for me to post it here. I actually really like it. :)

Autobiography

My name is Sam, and I was born on a cool autumn day on October 9, 1992, and my mother always says that I showed my first signs of rebellion on that day. My birth had been scheduled, for my mother’s doctor was going on vacation, so I was going to be born on October 9, whether I liked it or not. So, on the scheduled date of October 9 my mother went to the hospital to have me, but I had other plans. During the labor, when I was on my way out, I grabbed a hold of one of the tubes that supplies blood to my mother’s ovary, and twisted it. This didn’t affect my mother until the next day, so she was under the false illusion that my birth had gone a lot smoother than my brother’s, but upon arriving home my mother had to return back to the hospital out of excruciating pain due to my first defiant stand of not being forced to do anything I am not ready to do, as my mother lovingly puts it.

In or around the year of 1996 is when I started playing soccer, the game that I have grown to love, sometimes, even more than life itself. It has always seemed most natural to have a soccer ball at my feet, and since I can remember it has been an important, and almost vital, part of my life. I have played it all year round, and every opportunity I get, ever since I was four, and have continued this throughout high school. This past high school season I was on Stoughton High’s Varsity girl’s team, and am now on an indoor team. In this regard my brother and father are inspirations to me because they have both excelled in soccer and they are always pushing me to try my hardest, and to never give up. They are always encouraging me to improve my game and work at it until I am the best I can be, and without their constant encouragement I doubt soccer would be such a positive experience for me.
From the time that I was born until I was able to read for myself my mother read to me constantly, and I can account my love for literature to the countless hours she spent initiating me into the world of reading. As with soccer, reading is my escape from reality, and books are, and always have been, my constant companion. I am perfectly content browsing the shelves of a book store for hours and reading will always be a significant part of my life.

The most important people to me are my family and my friends. They are my stronghold, and without them I would be lost. My mother is one of my greatest inspirations because of her strong resolve, and stark determination to always achieve what she sets out to do. I can’t even begin to imagine the hardships she has gone through, as a single mother, to support and raise my brother and I, and everything she must have selflessly gone without so my brother and I could have a normal childhood. I have so much to learn from her, and I plan to take advantage of having such a strong-willed role model to look up to. My father is the only person I have ever met that can see an upside in every single situation. Even when the world throws him curveballs he always manages to see the golden light at the end of the dark tunnel. Whereas most people would have given up, he never stops trying, and though he may have his faults, it is his endlessly bright outlook on a world that has never been easy for him, that I will always admire. He is the most optimistic person I have yet to meet and I hope that someday I will learn how to see that the glass is half full as completely as he does. My brother is one of the few people that I can tell anything to. Although we haven’t completely grown out of the sibling stage of arguing about petty things such as who gets the front seat during car rides, or our vastly different tastes in music, I know that he is someone that will always be there for me, as I will for him. Another person that has had a large impact on my life is Ronnie, my mother’s boyfriend. He came into my life when I was six years old, and it’s never been quite the same since. To know Ronnie is to know someone who is always completely honest and straightforward, which is rare to find in a world with so much deception. It’s also impossible to not love him, with his ceaselessly caring attitude and how he, more often than not, seems just like a grown up kid, which I mean in the best way possible. He’s funny and kind, and throughout the years that I’ve known him it would be an understatement to say he’s become like a piece of my family. He is a piece of my family, and forever will be. Last but not least is my best friend, Amber. My mother has always told me that at the end of my life I will be lucky to be able to count my true friends on one hand. Though I love all of my friends right now, I know that Amber is the only one out of them that I will be able to count, at the end of the road, as the one friend from high school that stuck by me, and was one of my best and truest friends throughout my entire life.

Ever since I have been able to string coherent words together, I’ve wanted to be a writer. But, although I have resolved to be a writer, I have not quite decided what kind. Whether I end up being a journalist, a novelist, a columnist, or even an editor, I know that my dreams will always lay in becoming a renowned writer of some kind, whatever kind I am destined to be. Making a living off of something I love as much as writing is my greatest goal in life, and every accomplishment, every experience I have, and every action I take are all steps that I take in the direction of one day achieving that goal.

Up to this point in my life I think that getting into the Step Up to Excellence program is one of the best things that have happened to me, and I am so thankful for the opportunity to take part in such a program. From all of the things that Step Up offers to all of the unforgettable memories I am bound to have I know this program will change my life. It will help to broaden my horizons, make me a more well-rounded person, and it will teach me not to waver from the things that matter the most. Having a mentor that majored in the same field that I wish to major in is exciting because she can help me with my writing over the next few years and she can challenge me to become the best writer I can be. Another great aspect of having Mrs. Goldberg is that we have so much in common, and I truly enjoy spending our weekly time together, and look forward to it, and I could not have asked for a better person to be my mentor. I know that our friendship will go well beyond my high school years.

I’ve always known that I aspire to become a writer, but getting into this program, I know, will help me to get into a better college, which will give me a better education, which will lead me to becoming an even better writer. I know my life holds a lot of promise, but with that requires a lot of hard work, determination and collaboration with my mentor, my high school, my parents, my family, my friends and my dreams. I want to enjoy every step of the process of one day achieving my dreams, and that’s what I have already begun to do.

Sonnets

So we had to write sonnets for english class, and we got to pick our topic, and I picked music, of course.
And considering how bad I am at writing poetry I'm actually semi proud of it!

A vital part of our everyday life,
All generations share in its beauty
If it were absent there would be much strife.
Keeping it alive is our main duty

It touches all people, reaches their souls,
The expanse it spans is vast and boundless
It courses through our veins and fills all holes
The emotion-filled rhythm is timeless

Music is the heart and sould of living
No maatter the mood, our senses are filled
Music never takes, it just keeps giving
It always leaves people utterly thrilled

The love it creates in people is rare
Brings people together, makes them aware.

I'm tired of caring so much.

Black Friday & vegetating.

So I went malling for Black Friday for my first time ever and it was quite crowded. I've never seen so many people in one place! I went there with every intention of starting my Christmas shopping...but then I ended up just buying myself a winter coat (which I thoroughly needed, actually) and a few books. One of which I've just started and it seems very promising. It's called The Meaning of Night by Michael Cox. Kind of dark, but intriguing. The first line is just...er...heartwarming: "After killing the red-haired man, I took myself off to Quinn's for an oyster supper."

But, anyways...
I've also entertained myself today by beating my high score in snood. It made me feel very very accomplished.

I'm kind of tired and have an urge to go back to reading this book, so I have a feeling this post will be much shorter than my previous two. And I don't really have anything to ramble about today.
What a shame, I know.

In the past few days I've listened to Cars and Telephones 42 times, so Rhapsody tells me.
I found that song back when I was first getting into Arcade Fire in 2005, and they've been my favorite band ever since, but that song kind of dropped off the radar until a few days ago when I listened to it again and now I'm hooked. It's probably one of their greatest songs, lyrically, and I can't see why it didn't make the album cut. But, alas, the Great Arcade Fire probably have their reasons.

I, of course, have my blogging playlist on...right now No Lies, Just Love is on. Ahh, that song is so passionate and sad and incredibly moving that I never get tired of it. Don't get me wrong, a lot of Connor Oberts' stuff is complete and utter crap, but there are some songs of his that are just incredible. I just wish his music was more constant rather than maybe 1 out of ever 5 of his songs actually being decent. But that's just my very humble opinion, I'm sure some people worship the very ground he walks on and think all of his songs...even ones such as The City Has Sex....which kind of makes me want to write the producer's of that album a strongly worded letter.

Well this book is calling me, so I must go back to it.

Thanksgiving Blues

So, last night I was up late catching up with my brother, so I knew there was no way I was getting up on time on my own. So I set my alarm for 9 a.m. and went to bed, but I guess I forgot to check the volume because during the day I tend to listen to my music very loudly. So this morning I wake up to blasting Band of Horses. They're great, but at normal times of the day, and when I'm fully awake. Waking up to blasting music is not my idea or 'waking up on the right side of the bed.' But now I'm better, because once I walked out of my room the sweet aromas of wonderful food reached my nose, as it is Turkey Day!

But anyways, the point I think I was alluding very subtly towards last night, though I'm sure it seemed as if my long ramble had no point at all, is that I plan on becoming much more of an extrovert. That day if I weren't such an introvert in the pool I would have made a joke out of it, and not been so mortified, and everyone would have forgotten about it. But, because I was so clearly embarrassed, people have a greater tendency to remember it, and make fun of me for it. I don't know how I plan on going about becoming an 'extrovert,' but I am of the belief that your personality forms from the situations that you are put through, and every single little thing that ever happens to you is what forms your personality. But, there are also people that believe your personality is hard-wired, and that you are born with the personality that you will have for the rest of your life, and there is no changing it. And if that is the case then I guess my plan to become and extrovert is soiled right off the bat.

When I say I plan on becoming I guess I mean of becoming more outgoing and less self conscious, more outrageous and less safe, more risky and less guarded, and lastly, less shy and more thought of as the girl with no reservations, well...to a certain point.

I crack when I have to do presentations, and when I have to do speaking of any kind in front of people. I have a lot of opinions, but if I don't know the people I'm having a discussion I feel strongly about then I just stay in the background and don't give any input. I love being with my friends, they're great, but sometimes I also enjoy just being in my room with music blasting (when my mom's not home of course, she doesn't like my music)alone, reading or writing. I don't think I want to change that, or rather, I don't think I could. That's just how I recharge. But the part about being shy in front of people I don't know well I do want to change. And I think I could if I work on it. Maybe take an oratory class or something.

I haven't exactly thought about what I will do to become less shy. I guess I'll figure it out as I go along. It's kind of just been in the back of my head for a while now.

But back to it being Turkey Day. :)

I absolutely love Thanksgiving, because I get to see most of my dad's side of the family. He has 8 brothers and sisters, so that's 8 aunts and uncles for me, and from them more than 20 cousins. Whenever we all get together it's great, and so much fun. But this year only my dad, my brother and I, my uncle, his wife and their three kids, and my aunt are getting together. The house will undoubtedly feel very empty without dozens of little kids running around, and I'm sort of bummed. The aunt that my brother lives with isn't coming because she decided to change her solid plans of every single year prior to this and went to South Carolina, and a lot of my other aunts and uncles just can't make it. But it will still be alright, seeing anyone from my very large family is always fun. But it'll still have a small element of sadness, I hate family fall outs.




For the same project that I have to write my autobiography I also have to make a list of short term and long term goals. But, what constitutes a short term goal? How I want to get off this computer and take a shower before I have to be ready to go to my relatives house? Or something a little bit less short term, such as how I want to get a job? Or...does short term involve everything within the next year, and long term is my plans for life? I'm not really sure how to go about this, and when I don't have exact directions to follow for things like this I become very lost. I guess I'll have to think long and hard about the long term goals if I decide to make them my life goals, because right now I have no idea exactly where I want my life to go. I know I want to major in English, as it's the only subject that I truly enjoy, but what do I want to do with an English major? I have no idea. I also have no idea what college I want to go to, or, well a lot of things. I just know I want to go to college, and then become successful. Maybe those can be two long term goals to put.

So I've made a play list specifically for when I'm writing on this blog. The tracks are as follows:

1. Cars and Telephones-Arcade Fire
2. How it Ends- DeVotcKa
3. Radio Cure- Wilco
4. Reservations- Wilco
5. Cataracts- Andrew Bird
6. Our Swords- Band of Horses
7. This Modern Love- Bloc Party
8. No Lies, Just Love- Bright Eyes
9. Looks Just Like the Sun- Broken Social Scene
10. (This Is) The Dream of Evan and Chan- DNTEL
11. Go Sadness- Shout Out Louds
12. Landslide- Smashing Pumpkins
13. St. Augustine- Band of Horses
14. Postcards from Italy- Beirut
15. Blue Light- Bloc Party

:)

Aimless Reminiscing...

Because I like cars more than telephones
Your voice in my ear makes me feel so alone
Tonight I'm going to drive
The silver moon is shining bright
Over the interstate
God saying, "Hurry, don't be late."
Soon the sun will rise
That's when the romance dies.

I initially made this blog, not only because I've been meaning to do it for a while, but out of boredom as I wait for my brother to get here from New Jersey because I haven't seen him for any more than a few hours ever since he left in August. I want to keep up with this blog; to have my thoughts written out to look back on, and maybe I will, but chances are there will be points in time where I don't keep it updated. I'm not promising that it will be interesting, even remotely, and I'm doing this more for myself than for anything else. I've never had a blog before, so I guess I'm just planning on going with wherever whim takes me. It doesn't seem too hard to just type your thoughts, so I guess I'll start with that.

I've recently been given the task of having to write an autobiography about my life up until this point, and I have to update it every year for the rest of High School. At first this task seemed impossible, and it still slightly does, but I'm hoping that writing on here, where I can write freely with nobody judging, will help with preparing for the writing of my autobiography. I'm not sure what I will include, or if I should just concentrate on one thing in my life, or break it up into all the things I'm passionate about, or basically anything about what I will write about. Like this blog, I'm sure the autobiography will only be interesting to me, but I think that's how it is with many things people write for themselves, if it's based of their personal experiences. Generally, it seems as if people are only interested in stories if they are about some kind of painful experience that the writer went through. Not always, but that seems to be the usual way people's humor goes. Most humor is derived from tragedy: "Humor is tragedy with time," is a quote that does more to explain what I'm trying to say than I could in one hundred words. All comedy, whether it is the ever popular 'Late Night With Conan O'Brien' to that ridiculously bad but ever so entertaining show, 'Family Guy,' to just typical jokes told in day to day life are about some tragic experience of some sort, but over time the person has gotten over the tragedy of the experience, and they see it in a new light, the angle that an outsider would see it in. They find a new side of it, and find it funny. Years ago when I was a young third grade camper in a camp that included swimming, archery, and other typical childish activities, something happened to me then that I thought was the end of the world. It was the most embarassing thing that could ever have happened to me, and it was so completely mortifying that I probably thought that I would always remember it for the rest of my life as the day that I single-handedly ruined my life. That may have been very dramatic thoughts for a third grader, but I remember being so completely humiliated that I refused to ever return back to the camp, and I had gone to that camp every single summer for years. It was one of the last few days of camp, and it was during the second shift of pool time, and I really had to, for lack of better words...pee. But, I was having far too much fun in the pool and really didn't feel like getting out. So, I didn't, but after a while it got so bad that I knew if I even stood up from sitting on the top stairs I'd just go, because third graders are just great at controlling their bladders like that. And then suddenly I just went. I couldn't help it. And it was quite the relief and I was glad to finally be relieved, but then I looked down...and realized that I was sitting on the first step...and saw that there was yellow all around me. All of the kids around the stairs started pointing and laughing, and then someone asked me what the yellow was. I distinctly remember answering something along the lines of, "Oh...that must just be...the...chlorine...or something?"

My mom always wondered why I came home that day with only two or three days of camp for that summer left, and I refused to go back. Ever, ever again. It actually mortified me for years, but now I can look back on it and laugh...really hard. To think that that small incident stopped me from ever going back to that camp, which I had gone to ever single solitary year since I was old enough to walk, is ridiculous. The kids that were around me probably hardly remembered what had happened the next day, nevermind a year or two later. I wonder if I would have gone to that camp forever, and then when I got old enough if I would have become a CIT or something for it if I just hadn't peed in that damn pool. But, that was one very long and extended example of how most things that are funny are just a tragedy someone went through but over time they realize how not tragic it is, and how hilarious it actually is. When I told my mom this story...only a few years ago, she burst out laughing, and said how she always knew something happened to make me so extraordinarily opposed to ever going back.

Needless to say, I never peed in a pool again.