Thanksgiving Blues

So, last night I was up late catching up with my brother, so I knew there was no way I was getting up on time on my own. So I set my alarm for 9 a.m. and went to bed, but I guess I forgot to check the volume because during the day I tend to listen to my music very loudly. So this morning I wake up to blasting Band of Horses. They're great, but at normal times of the day, and when I'm fully awake. Waking up to blasting music is not my idea or 'waking up on the right side of the bed.' But now I'm better, because once I walked out of my room the sweet aromas of wonderful food reached my nose, as it is Turkey Day!

But anyways, the point I think I was alluding very subtly towards last night, though I'm sure it seemed as if my long ramble had no point at all, is that I plan on becoming much more of an extrovert. That day if I weren't such an introvert in the pool I would have made a joke out of it, and not been so mortified, and everyone would have forgotten about it. But, because I was so clearly embarrassed, people have a greater tendency to remember it, and make fun of me for it. I don't know how I plan on going about becoming an 'extrovert,' but I am of the belief that your personality forms from the situations that you are put through, and every single little thing that ever happens to you is what forms your personality. But, there are also people that believe your personality is hard-wired, and that you are born with the personality that you will have for the rest of your life, and there is no changing it. And if that is the case then I guess my plan to become and extrovert is soiled right off the bat.

When I say I plan on becoming I guess I mean of becoming more outgoing and less self conscious, more outrageous and less safe, more risky and less guarded, and lastly, less shy and more thought of as the girl with no reservations, well...to a certain point.

I crack when I have to do presentations, and when I have to do speaking of any kind in front of people. I have a lot of opinions, but if I don't know the people I'm having a discussion I feel strongly about then I just stay in the background and don't give any input. I love being with my friends, they're great, but sometimes I also enjoy just being in my room with music blasting (when my mom's not home of course, she doesn't like my music)alone, reading or writing. I don't think I want to change that, or rather, I don't think I could. That's just how I recharge. But the part about being shy in front of people I don't know well I do want to change. And I think I could if I work on it. Maybe take an oratory class or something.

I haven't exactly thought about what I will do to become less shy. I guess I'll figure it out as I go along. It's kind of just been in the back of my head for a while now.

But back to it being Turkey Day. :)

I absolutely love Thanksgiving, because I get to see most of my dad's side of the family. He has 8 brothers and sisters, so that's 8 aunts and uncles for me, and from them more than 20 cousins. Whenever we all get together it's great, and so much fun. But this year only my dad, my brother and I, my uncle, his wife and their three kids, and my aunt are getting together. The house will undoubtedly feel very empty without dozens of little kids running around, and I'm sort of bummed. The aunt that my brother lives with isn't coming because she decided to change her solid plans of every single year prior to this and went to South Carolina, and a lot of my other aunts and uncles just can't make it. But it will still be alright, seeing anyone from my very large family is always fun. But it'll still have a small element of sadness, I hate family fall outs.




For the same project that I have to write my autobiography I also have to make a list of short term and long term goals. But, what constitutes a short term goal? How I want to get off this computer and take a shower before I have to be ready to go to my relatives house? Or something a little bit less short term, such as how I want to get a job? Or...does short term involve everything within the next year, and long term is my plans for life? I'm not really sure how to go about this, and when I don't have exact directions to follow for things like this I become very lost. I guess I'll have to think long and hard about the long term goals if I decide to make them my life goals, because right now I have no idea exactly where I want my life to go. I know I want to major in English, as it's the only subject that I truly enjoy, but what do I want to do with an English major? I have no idea. I also have no idea what college I want to go to, or, well a lot of things. I just know I want to go to college, and then become successful. Maybe those can be two long term goals to put.

So I've made a play list specifically for when I'm writing on this blog. The tracks are as follows:

1. Cars and Telephones-Arcade Fire
2. How it Ends- DeVotcKa
3. Radio Cure- Wilco
4. Reservations- Wilco
5. Cataracts- Andrew Bird
6. Our Swords- Band of Horses
7. This Modern Love- Bloc Party
8. No Lies, Just Love- Bright Eyes
9. Looks Just Like the Sun- Broken Social Scene
10. (This Is) The Dream of Evan and Chan- DNTEL
11. Go Sadness- Shout Out Louds
12. Landslide- Smashing Pumpkins
13. St. Augustine- Band of Horses
14. Postcards from Italy- Beirut
15. Blue Light- Bloc Party

:)